In Boredom's Deep Thoughts

The preparation for my departure has begun. Yesterday I was able to make it to the Msamala Stand in order to buy my bus ticket to Mbeya. I will head there on Friday and stay at the Benedictine guesthouse while I await my flight out. I actually spent my first night at the guesthouse in Mbeya so it nice to have everything come full circle.

A lot of things need to be put in order before I leave so that last few days have been a bit of a whirlwind. Three of those things have been wrapping up my work, saying goodbye to all of my friends and giving away the things I no longer need.

Everyone likes being goofy when they are 15.

I was able to give away a few things while teaching at both Saint Benedicts and the Trade School the past couple of days. That was good, but I will focus on giving away some more as I begin to pack because it easier to identify items I no longer need when doing so.

Yesterday I was able to make it to sports time at Saint Benedict’s Secondary School. You know how everyone has their click or group while in high school? Yeah, the same goes for Africa as well. There are little groups and friend circles all around. My group is made up of the girls who enjoy throwing around the Frisbee with me. Blandina, the one who is always looking forward to playing Frisbee, is the one I will be giving my last Frisbee to. This way she will be able to continue to play even when I am no longer here.

On Sunday I was able to go with Father Kizosto to Coland. I have mentioned Coland as Corant in the past. Coland is the all-boys secondary school which sits about 4 kilometers back in the village. It’s all by itself which is nice because there is a lot of room for activity. In addition, it allows for silence while in class. Looking back I think it could have been fun working at Coland, but I believe it sits too far from the Abbey and so that would have made things a bit difficult.

Fr. Kizosto presiding over mass at Coland.

I celebrated mass in the small school house with the boys who attend school there. I had been planning this excursion for a while and so I was happy I could make it happen on my last Sunday here. Having mass in a small schoolhouse was great. It makes you realize that you do not need a cathedral to be with God.  Of course, the massive and well-designed cathedrals and churches back home are really great. Though, the main purpose should be to spend time with Him and it is great to know we can do that anywhere.

Afterwards, Father Kizosto and I along with Christa and Kersti went for a beer. Father Kizosto is a really nice guy and he wanted to thank me for my time and work over the past months. I grabbed a beer and he had a Dragon (a popular energy drink) mixed with Konyagi. Konyagi is the most popular form of hard alcohol in Tanzania. It is called ‘The Spirit of Tanzania’. It is obviously a spirit, but I laugh because it also appears to be what awakens most of the spirit in Tanzanians ha!

The mixture of the energy drink and Konyagi is terrible for your health, but, if I am being honest, it did look good. I think I’ll have to try it when having my last chipsi in Mbeya. That’s a good last meal, right? Konyagi is also packed in a 100ml pouch. It is not in a bottle; a strange and interesting difference.

I was speaking with Christa the other day about the school systems here and how they work. What I learned interested me and so I thought I would share it. A major reason why things are slow to progress and develop is because of the poor school systems. When Tanzania formed the teachers who were teaching primary school had only completed Standard 7 which means they were 12 or 13 years old when they completed their schooling! It has improved from Standard 7 to Form 4 (15 years old) in recent years and now the requirement is completion of Form 6 (equivalent to a high school diploma).

It’s amazing to think that people who have barely completed Tanzanian high school teach the younger students. In America you must have a four-year degree in education and then pass a number of tests before you can even think about teaching. It really shows you how advanced our country is and how the development process is working here in Tanzania. There is obviously a lot of work to be done, but it is good to see that there has been progress. It takes a lot of hard work and time to grow as a country.

Locks of Love, I'm coming for you!

Another discussion point is the language taught. I understand the argument that language is culture and a part of identity. This is a great point to be made. However, even so, I don’t see how teaching your students Kiswahili is beneficial when the rest of the world does not speak it. In addition, there are 123 tribal languages. This means children start off speaking their tribal language, enter into primary school having to learn Kiswahili and then attempting to learn English in secondary school.

The kids are forced to start over three times. This is very hard and only leads to a slow progression. I am unsure what will be done about this in coming years, but it is something to think about.

I recently was eating some rice and beans in the refectory when I felt a piece of hair in my mouth. I went to take it out and found it was attached to me. Yes, my own beard has now begun to interfere with my eating. I think that means it is time for a trim! I will do so on Thursday so I am prepped and ready to go for Europe.

The President of Tanzania has ordered a nationwide trash and garbage pick-up on Saturday. I believe this will continue each Saturday throughout May (and hopefully longer). This is needed badly. Trash and littering is a major problem in Africa and especially in Tanzania. It is very common to see people throw things out the bus window, drop wrappers and plastic bottles on the ground while walking and just leaving paper and other garbage lying around.

We need a smiling photo too!
Plus the kids think I look like Jesus. 
Too funny.

Supposedly the army will be put to use in making sure people are actually cleaning. Soldiers will patrol cities and enforce the mandatory cleaning.

This was prompted for many reasons, but one was because of an outbreak in cholera. Cholera is a terrible disease that causes a person to vomit and diarrhea many times. This leads to extreme dehydration and usually death. Cholera and other horrible diseases are caused by bacteria contaminating the water and food supply. Garbage is an obvious way for these bacteria to enter the supply lines and so cleaning the environment will do a lot of good.

To add quickly, this topic of disease made me want to mention one thing I left out of the list in my last blog. I was speaking about what things we need to be thankful and grateful for and I forgot to mention our health and clean environment. How great is it to live in a clean and well maintained area? I love it and even if you don’t (which would be a little strange) be thankful that it helps you stay healthy.

This past week a friend of mine sent me a quote that made me sit and think. I would like to just take a minute to discuss it because I feel it could lead to some deeper thinking.

"Aren't you, like me, hoping that some person, thing, or event will come along to give you that final feeling of inner well-being you desire? Don't you often hope: 'May this book, idea, course, trip, job, country or relationship fulfill my deepest desire.' But as long as you are waiting for that mysterious moment you will go on running helter-skelter, always anxious and restless, always lustful and angry, never fully satisfied. You know that this is the compulsiveness that keeps us going and busy, but at the same time makes us wonder whether we are getting anywhere in the long run. This is the way to spiritual exhaustion and burn-out. This is the way to spiritual death." (Henri J.M. Nowen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World, p. 30).

I have never read this book and I don’t know the author, but I like this quote. I don’t necessarily agree with it 100% though I do like it.

I am adding this quote with hope that it ties well with what I wanted to mention – boredom. We all have been bored at some point and you may be so bored right now that you have found yourself reading my blog. So be it (I’ll take what I can get).

The majority of my time in Africa has been filled with one thing or another, but there has been some downtime where I have found that I am bored. Being bored is usually taken as a bad thing. I guess it isn’t very good, but we can make it better than it has to be. What does boredom usually lead to? For me, it leads to lots of thought. Usually those thoughts are on what I wish I could be doing at that moment or on my life and what I have been doing that has led me to being bored.

I do not think anyone enjoys being bored and I am the same. It may be a stretch, but the reason I tie this quote and the topic of boredom together is because both are in search of something more. The quote is all about fulfilling this lack of well-being or desire and I feel boredom is something of the same. Boredom helps us identify what we want and rather than brush that off we might as well learn from it.

A quick example, once when I was bored I remember just thinking about all the good times I have had with my brother; really funny, cool and special moments. What this tells me is simple. It tells me that I would like to be able to spend more time with him and that I would have a lot of fun doing so. Guess what I plan to do in the future? Spend time with Thomas.

I have thought of many of which involve my family and friends and so it is obvious that my relationships are important to me.

These little lessons and insights into what you want happen every day. Let them guide you.

Just like boredom, we can learn from this quote as well. Mr. Nowen’s quote is great food for thought, but I think I am finding it hard to accept because it seems as if we look at life in a different way. To him it feels as if life is a glass half empty. To me, life is a glass half full. Towards the end of his quote he gets all morbid and depressing.

That’s not cool.

If not all, there are many of us that are wishing for and hoping to find that special something that will bring us fulfillment and complete our deepest desire. That is no surprise.

A classroom at Coland.

We want it so damn bad that we attach this unobtainable object onto something obtainable. Then, we hunt it down. I feel so many of us are on this hunt for this lost piece that we begin to push and force the idea of it into something like a relationship, trip, idea or job. The problem arises once you have obtained that relationship, job, or whatever and find that it does not fulfill you. The thing you thought you needed so badly all of a sudden becomes…boring.

Uh-oh, what now? What I think is that we all need to stop hunting, relax and change perspective.

Unlike Mr. Nowen, the reason I see life as a glass half full is because I believe we all are able to grab that special piece inside of everything and every moment. That is because that special piece is our faith in God. God is in everything and our faith allows us to see that. The problem is that God is heavenly and what so many of us are searching for is something earthly.

It is no wonder all of these people are unable to fulfill their deepest desires. They are looking in the wrong direction.

Throughout my time here I have been able to pray. Through prayer and deep thought (which sometimes happens during boredom) I have grown deeper in my spirituality. These, along with all the lessons I have learned, have helped me see the blessings even in those moments of boredom. Yes, even those dry, rough and lame moments in our life. What I have discovered is what I really want and how special those things are to me.

Once we find this faith in God we are able to continuously fill our glass. No longer must it be half full (or empty). It will be full. It is for this reason why I disagree with the quote and the author’s idea on running around like helter-skelter. Our faith in God does not rest in one thing. It is in all. Our faith in God is heavenly and therefore your job, relationships, trips, ideas and all the others can bring you joy and satisfaction.

You all should know Phil Collins song “In the Air Tonight”. If not then I suggest you go and listen. The drum solo where he just breaks it down towards the end is definitely something that will add joy to your life. It may be short, but it is powerful. Whenever something wonderful happens that drum solo plays in my head. It is almost as if all things have a little Phil Collins jamming out on the inside. :)

Therefore, do not dwell on the negative, look for the positive and allow it to fill you up. Trust me, rather than death you will find life.

(To my grandfather) Doc, I have been reading through many of Dylan Thomas’s poems that you sent me and have found many of them transfixing. I’ll be honest, I have much to learn about poetry, but one poem I really enjoyed was A Winter’s Tale. The imagery in this particular poem is extraordinary. It may emphasize those bitter cold winter months you Minnesotans just escaped from and knowing that you are heading towards Minnesota’s scarce three months of warm weather you may not want to read it, but if you have the book around then let me know what you think. It sits two after one of his very famous poems, Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night. Two other great ones (that are much shorter) are In My Craft Or Sullen Art and The Hand That Signed The Paper. I felt that The Hand That Signed The Paper had a strong message and so I liked that one a lot. We can talk more over email and in person once I get home. :)

I will be in Mbeya on Saturday which means I will no longer have internet access. I will have to walk the streets of Mbeya to find an internet café in order to post my blog. I am sure there is one and so I am fairly confident in my ability to post, yet just know that there is a chance I won’t be able to.

In addition, I plan to continue my blog throughout my time in Europe. Seeing as I have never been to Europe I am unsure how often I will be able to post. My guess is that I will be able to find an internet source somewhere and so I plan on continuing to post each Wednesday and Saturday. We will see how things work out as we get farther into May. I also plan to write one last post after I arrive home. So, stick with me all the way into June! :)

Board Race at the Trade School.
(One student was moving which is why he looks funny.)

I noticed Donald Trump won the Indiana Primary and Ted Cruz dropped out of the race. Ted Cruz wasn’t much better than Trump, but to see him drop out means that Trump is well on his way to the Republican Nomination considering John Kasich has no chance. Yes, no one knows why he is still in now that Cruz is out. Anyway, America, you are doing it wrong! I have to come home just to make sure things don't get too out of control. 

If you were ever wondering how one person can instill fear into an entire country or world you no longer have to. Trump is doing exactly that. Rather than listen to Trumps (or anyone’s) rambling outbursts you first should educate yourself on the topics. Then you will be able to make the best decision when voting.

*I have just finished teaching my final class. It is a bit strange to have it all just come to an end after such a long time. I have said goodbye to my Saint Benedict students and I am going to say goodbye to my Trade School one’s today. Lots of photos have been taken, departing gifts have been asked for (money is what most people want ha) and my (and Thomas’s) phone number is being wanted (some of the girls have not forgotten the picture I showed them of Thomas – too funny). I will say goodbye to my sisters tomorrow. They are wonderful so that will be a bit tough. I suppose it has to happen at some time, though.

I hope everyone’s May is off to a great start!

Thanks for reading!